At my father’s retirement party last month, about 30 people offered reflections on the influence my dad had on their lives. While my father contains multitudes, he is the same person with everyone–putting family first (his own and those of the people in his department), kind, generous, inspiring, and occasionally somewhat overly encouraging (he would admit to this). This unfoolish consistency reflects his authenticity.
The word authentic comes from the Greek authentikos, meaning real, original. Authenticity is all about being the real deal. It’s living in harmony with our values and not putting on a mask for others. It means we are aware of the impact we have on others and that we seek out opportunities to grow.
Think about someone you admire for their authenticity. What makes them stand out? Chances are, it’s their consistency and reliability – you know exactly who they are, even under pressure.
Authenticity means erasing the gap between what you firmly
believe inside and what you reveal to the outside world.
Adam Grant
How can we cultivate authenticity? Living according to our values is easier once we name those values. What matters most to you? Kindness? Innovation? Courage? Once you’ve nailed down your core principles, it becomes easier to align your actions with them. Knowing our boundaries, our triggers, and making time to reflect on how we show up creates and strengthens authenticity. (There’s a values identifier on the resources page of my website, jennifergriggs.com.)
Hard times arouse an instinctive desire for authenticity.
Coco Chanel
Authenticity often gets tangled up with vulnerability. We often hear that we should be “authentic and vulnerable” as if one goes with the other without choice. I believe that you can be authentic without being vulnerable. The word “vulnerable” comes from the Latin word for wound. When we make ourselves vulnerable, we are literally opening ourselves up to be wounded. You can be genuine and principled without being wounded. While being vulnerable can be powerful, it is risky. If we don’t feel safe to open up in this way–whether because of trauma, are keenly aware that we are prescribed to stay within a narrow range of acceptable behavior, are neurodivergent, or work in a competitive environment–it would be foolish to pretend that being vulnerable is always safe or necessary, especially in professional settings.
What if you do want to cultivate vulnerability or create safety for others to do so? If you’re curious about dipping your toes into vulnerability, start small. Share a minor mistake you’ve made or ask for help on a project. Remember, it’s okay to take baby steps. And if you want to create an environment where people feel safe, you can try third-person vulnerability. You can show a video of someone being vulnerable, such as a story from StoryCorps. One of my clients did this when her group of two added a third person and she showed a video to what had now become a team. She told me that, if she had been part of a group where the leader had done this, she would have felt safe. This is an effective way to show vulnerability without having to put anyone–including yourself–in an uncomfortable situation.
What about you? What are your core values? Is there one small step you can take to better align your actions with your values? How can you create safety for yourself and your people to be vulnerable, no matter the size of your team?
